The Battle of the Bulge

I had a long conversation with a young woman in her 40's today about her weight.  As with so many women, young and old, weight and it's control dominates her life.  I've been around long enough to see the results of nearly every weight loss plan that has ever been created.  Some seem to work right away while others take time.  More often than not the person regains the weight plus some.  It's as if the body is saying "Take THAT you fool!  Who do you think you are trying to manipulate me into a size and shape of your own choosing?" 

Over the years I've looked into many different spiritual pathways.  I see similarities in all of them.  Many appear to control the believer while others don't have enough guidelines so there's nothing to follow.  While on my spiritual journey I realized some truths about our bodies and how they appear to be controllable with food and exercise.  Do those two things really make a difference in the size and shape of our bodies or is it the mind....set on a course with strict guidelines, that actually does the work?  Is it the time we carve out of our day to devote to our self-care that makes the biggest difference or is it a pill or potion meant to stop our brains from registering hunger and cravings?  Do we become "true believers" when we pick up a new book with a new plan and a new way of preparing the same foods we know we're supposed to eat but find unpalatable?  What IS the truth about our body shapes and sizes?  DNA is most likely the determining factor in what our bodies look like from decade to decade.  Look at family members and you can see common features and how the fat is stored on their frames.

Getting back to the spiritual side of things, I've read many times that our bodies should be considered "Temples."  They are gifts from our Creator.  Since the Creator cannot do physical work on the Earth he/she has created physical bodies for souls so we can live in this world and do his/her work.  Have you ever known someone who spends a lot of time doing volunteer work?  Does that person struggle with their weight?  Do you think that time spent in service to others would be so emotionally satisfying and gratifying that food would be reduced to something to keep you alive? 

Being "food focused" is just another word for food addiction.  Some people get excited when they prepare food that others enjoy.  Some people believe they are Gourmets and know all about blending flavors of food to create delicious meals.  I live near a culinary school and I see the students crossing the street from the school to the bakery for classes every day.  Some appear to grow larger week after week. 

If your belief system included treating your body like a temple and a gift from your Creator, would that change the way you perceive food?  Would you sit down to a meal, say a prayer of gratitude over the food and then use utensils to eat it slowly?  Would you appreciate each bite knowing that it came from your Creator to sustain the body the Creator gave you?  Would you pass by the packages of dead, processed foods in the grocery and head straight for the fresh produce, meats, fowl and fish?  Would you pass by the baked goods and ice cream and pick up some fresh fruit instead?  These foods are all made of just one ingredient.  They are perfect because they are fresh from their source.  I haven't eaten animals in 20 years but I do enjoy fresh fish (not fried), eggs, chicken and turkey.  I don't tolerate grains that contain Gluten nor do I tolerate dairy products unless they are lactose free. 

If there is a pattern of food abuse in your family it would be a good idea to examine those foods and see what they are.  Foods that comforted you as a child are always delicious but may not be good for you as you age.  Women who carry extra weight before the age of 35 often have bad knees in their later years.  I believe that food addiction is very high on the list of addictions suffered by most Americans.  We are bombarded by food commercials on TV and brightly colored packaging in the stores.  It's funny how removing food from it's original packaging and placing it plastic containers changes our desire for it.  Marketing companies work very hard to come up with boxes and bags that catch our attention in the store and make us desire the food within.

If your self-worth, self-esteem and self-confidence are tied directly to your appearance you only have one choice.  You will have to stop eating the foods that you know will make you fat and change to natural, health giving foods.  Every time you make an excuse or find a way to justify eating foods that make you fat you are only hurting yourself.  Every bite for the rest of your life will be determined by you and only you unless you are disabled and fed by others.  It is up to you to put less food on your plate and push the plate away before taking seconds.  If you don't work as a field hand you cannot eat like a field hand.  Pretend you are buying food for your favorite, slim celebrity or someone you admire.  Would you put cheap, fattening foods on the table of your favorite movie star?  I doubt it!!

Creating Tasteful Outfits

In the book, "That Extra Half Inch" by Victoria Beckham, she discusses how outfits can look too "contrived." This means "Obviously planned or calculated; not spontaneous or natural; labored:" In dressing it means that you have put together an outfit where everything matches exactly, looks more like a costume than an outfit or looks like you put too many hours into coordinating the pieces. I oft...en see this with country/western outfits, especially at concerts. I also see it with Vintage fashions where everything is vintage with no modern pieces included. I've also seen formal outfits with matching "bling" from shoes, to dress to handbag and beyond. Coordinating an outfit is very much like decorating a room. You want to mix your pieces in a way that allows them to "relate" but not match. For instance, I have a silver spiral design necklace. I also have a similar design in earrings, ring and a bracelet. I would not wear all of them at once. I would probably only wear two and not next to each other. I certainly would not wear a spiral print garment or have a spiral design on my shoes. You don't want to appear to be wearing a costume which is easy to do with western wear. Unless you work with horses or you are in the music industry you might want to just wear denim with the boots and hat. Adding big silver jewelry or a large buckle belt might be too much. Most of all look like yourself when you dress. Show how unique and tasteful you are.

 

My "Kentucky Derby" Posts from Facebook

Churchill Downs spokesman John Asher wrote in an email. “We are always in close contact at this time of year with the dozens of federal, state and local law enforcement and public safety partners who work with us every year on safety and security concerns for our major events, we will be in close and frequent contact with them and rely heavily on their expertise, as we always do, in the hours and ...days to come.” Also, Churchill Downs will not allow tents in the In-field this year due to the dangers of a storm coming up like last year. The support poles pose a danger to people and horses in high winds. If you plan to attend the races this year wear comfortable, durable shoes. There are many different types of pavement throughout the Downs, some uneven and grass in the In-field. Security will be tighter this year so don't take anything that might look suspicious. Don't forget your sunscreen and drink a glass of water in-between alcoholic drinks so you won't get dehydrated.

If you have a pair of sling back shoes, you can dress them up for Derby events very easily. I saw a pair black and white polka dot, sling back heels at Von Maur last week in the display case. They had a beautiful red satin bow tied to the back of the strap. You can match your shoes to your Derby hat by using ribbon that closely matches your hat. This is also a beautiful addition to shoes worn for weddings and other special events. Good quality satin ribbon from a fabric shop is the most beautiful and is easier to tie. Make sure you double tie the bow so it will not come undone as you walk. Use very sharp scissors to cut the ribbon so the edges won't look frayed.

Another way to customize your look for Derby events is to use ribbon on your handbag that matches your hat or fascinator. If it has a chain strap (good idea due to pick pockets slashing purse straps) thread ribbon in and out of the links of the chain. If it is a thin chain you can braid three colors of skinny ribbon around it and tie into bows where it's connected to the handbag. The ribbon wil...l also make a chain strap more comfortable on your arm or shoulder. Wristlet style purses are great for Churchill Downs and Keeneland. They keep your purse near you and keep your hands free. Crossbody bags are nice but the strap going across the front of your outfit might not look very attractive. If you carry a clutch style bag make sure it has a little chain or strap inside. Keeping it in your hand or under your arm all day will wear you out. It's also too easy to lay it down and forget about it. Don't take anything to the track that you would hate to lose. No heirloom broaches that could fall off or fine jewelry that is so loose fitting it will come off when you wash your hands.

Formal Wear After 40

If the gown you choose is sleeveless or strapless please consider adding a cute bolero jacket, short cardigan or Pashima wrap to cover the sagging or spotty skin on the shoulders, upper arms and back. In the dressing room have someone take a picture of your back with your arms down by your sides before buying a strapless or spaghetti strap dress. You would be shocked by how much skin can sag around the edges of a dress. In some cases buying the dress in a larger size and having it altered to fit is the answer. Don't look like a stuffed sausage in your formal wear. Spagehtti straps are altered very easily if your "Girls" have begun to sag. Buy a strapless, supportive bra and have the dress straps taken up. There is nothing glamorous about the "Ma Kettle" sillouette. If you're old enough to know who Ma Kettle is, then you need a supportive bra. In the movie "Back on the Farm" (1951) Eliszabeth Parker said to Ma Kettle, "You know Ma, I bet you had an hourglass figure." Ma Kettle: "Yeah, but the sand sure shifted."

 

Cocktail dresses for women over 40 should come to the knee or cover the knee.  As we age our knees become less attractive.  Covering them can give us a much nicer, smoother look.  If your shoes are fabulous then don't detract from them by showing less than beautiful knees.  I also prefer hose over bare legs.  Women over 40 have more varicose and spider veins.  They also may have age spots, moles and freckles.  Nude or "body match" hose are best unless you are wearing black or navy.  Light, sheer black and navy hose will give you an "unbroken line" from hem to shoe.  I prefer "sheer to the waist" pantyhose because I've never found control top pantyhose that fit me perfectly.  I usually wear a "Skimp Skamp" foundation panty with the sheer to the waist.  It gives me a feeling of support without being too tight.    

Facebook Posts Apri 1 & 2

The April issue of "Allure" magazine has an "Anti-aging Special" in it. You will find information about products recommended by the country's top dermatologists, an article called "Facing 50" that features over 50 celebrities and an article about cosmetic procedures. There is also an article called "Through the Ages" that is a timeline of beauty treatments dating back to the 1600's. I haven't ha...d any cosmetic procedures and have never visited a cosmetic surgeon for a consultation. What I worry about is nerve damage from the procedures. I've seen several women who have nerve damage so it makes me relunctant to consider it. I was told recently that Botox stretches the skin when used over and over making it sag more than if left alone. It's up to the individual and I don't judge those who choose to go under the knife to feel better about their appearance. As my Grandmother Ruby used to say "Each to his own said the old lady as she kissed her cow."

Being a size 0 isn't all it's cracked up to be. Women who try to maintain that size are probably doing internal damage to their bodies. Eating disorders are very dangerous and sometimes fatal. There are worse things in life than weighing... more than you think you should. Join Weight Watchers to find out how much you should weigh for your age then stick with it. Yo Yo dieting is not healthy and may ruin your metabolism later in life. Food is fuel not fun so eat like an adult and not a child. If the man in your life pokes fun at your body or makes remarks about every bite you put in your mouth then he's not supporting you emotionally. Have a talk with him and tell him how much his comments hurt you.

Happy Easter

Facebook Posts March 23-26

The April issue of "Allure" magazine has an "Anti-aging Special" on pages 146 to 154. Some of the products are available in drug and discount stores and are inexpensive. I like the advice for keeping your neck and chest area beautiful. So often we forget to apply the same products to this area that we use on our faces. It's very important to apply sunscreen to your neck and chest because this area will often show wrinkles and age spots faster than our faces.

There is an article in the March 21st edition of the "Wall Street Journal" about the fastest most precise make up products that women use. "CoverGirl Clump Crusher Mascara" $6.99, "Clinique Chubby Sticks" for eyes and for lips, $16.00, "Sally Hanson Complete Salon Manicure," $7.99, "Maybelline New York Master Duo Eyeliner" $7.99, "Beauty Blender," $19.95. (It's an egg shaped spongy applicator for blending foundation.) My husband was nice enough to bring the newspaper home so I could share the list with all of you. :-)

The next time you are in a drug or discount store look for "Systane Ultra" lubricant eye drops. My eye doctor suggested it for my dry eyes and it works very well. While you are in the eye care aisle look for contact lens cases. They are perfect for emptying the last bit of lip conditoner or lip gloss out of the tube. I cut the tube in half and use a clean Q-tip to scoop out what's left in the bottom. The contact lens cases are double so you can have your lip treatment on one side and your tinted lip gloss or lip stick on the other side. If you need a lip brush look for one that is retractable or has a top to keep it clean in your make up bag or purse.

March 21-22 Facebook Posts

While shopping in Macy's I noticed that there were no displays of plus size Derby outfits with coordinating hats. I went upstairs and didn't see any in the Plus department either. Before I left the store I stopped at the Ralph Lauren department to tell the nice ladies there about my observation. They said that I was correct and felt that there should be a display of plus size Derby outfits and hats too. I think it's a good idea to make suggestions when you shop when you don't see what you're looking for.

So many women have body image issues. It's impossbile to grow up in our society without being bombarded by images of super beautiful women in the media. So many of those printed images have been photo shopped and are not even close to wha...t the woman really looks like. In reality we must dress the body we have not the one from 20-30 years ago. Don't torture yourself by looking at pictures that make you feel bad about yourself. It doesn't matter what the size tag says on your clothes. Get dressed and get out into the world and give it your best. A happy woman is a beautiful woman because she's smiling most of the time. :-)

 

 1. Energize with new trends. “It’s especially important for women older than 40 to bring the latest styles into their wardrobes,” says Brenda Kinsel, author of “Brenda Kinsel's Fashion Makeover: 30 Days to Diva Style!” (Chronicle Books, 2007). Try out a new clothing trend and incorporate it with other clothes already in your closet.

2. Follow the 50-percent rule. Kinsel also says less is more. “...I tell clients to take a trend and cut it in half. Instead of a tie-dye T-shirt, try a shirt with an element of tie-dye in it,” says Kinsel.

3. Redo your ’do. Today’s short hairstyles flatter the face and take off years. Browse a new style magazine and find a look you’d like to try before you visit your salon. But short hair is not required; more and more boomer women are wearing tousled, mid-length styles as popularized by Katie Couric, or longer, lovely locks like Michelle Pfeiffer.

4. Get fit! Let’s face it: Aging stinks and so does gravity. But there’s no age limit on exercise. A simple walking program, building up to 30 minutes, five days a week, will do wonders for creating a healthy lifestyle and look. Strength training just three times per week can help improve bone density, reduce body fat and improve muscle tone. Try finding a program online or hiring a personal trainer.

5. Lighten up the makeup.Too much makeup can add years. Mature women and women of any age can benefit from this season’s lighter, brighter makeup styles. Many salons include free makeup consultations. You can also try the makeup counter at your favorite department store.

6. Enhance those curves. Current shape-wear tend to display, not disguise, your body’s natural curves. Look for tummy-control and thigh-firming features.


7. Stop hiding behind loose clothing. Baggy clothing may make you appear larger than you actually are. Instead, opt for body skimming (not tight) items that will show off your feminine silhouette.


8. Be bejeweled. The Glam Gals also recommend updating your jewelry wardrobe with a few hot pieces in the latest styles. Trends include: odd and unusual rocks for eye-popping rings, necklaces with only a sprinkling of diamonds and an emphasis on metals, red jewels such as pinkish-red rubellite or soft pink tourmaline.

9. Revitalize your lips. Lips can be one of the first areas to show signs of aging. Be sure to protect them from the sun with sunblock with SPF. Also, reapply color throughout the day to keep your lips moist. Try a nightly anti-aging regimen of Regenerist Anti-Aging Lip Treatment.

10. Exfoliate. Good skin is essential to looking young. Be sure to exfoliate to give your cells a little nudge.

From P&G.com

Facebook Posts 3-18-13

I read recently that if you buy a pair of "Spanx" (or a similar type of foundation garment) some of your old clothes that you think are too small may still fit after all. If this were the 1950's most of us would be wearing girdles every day. Not only would the girdles keep us from over eating but would hold us in and make our clothes look better. A foundation garment under a slip makes a sheath dress look very smooth. That's why we are so in love with the look of Vintage dresses.

There are so many diet plans a person can follow. I am forever grateful to Weight Watchers (1974 program) for teaching me the value of portion control. Weight Watchers is much easier these days according to family and friends who are attending meetings and following the current program. I like the "One Ingredient Food" diet. When manufacturers add ingredients to increase the flavor and shelf ...life of their foods people gain weight. Age changes a person's shape too so diets don't always accomplish what they did when we were younger. The loss of hormones as we age contributes to the addition of fat on certain parts of the body. Mother Nature tries to protect older womens' hip bones from falls by adding extra padding to the bottom. Eating fresh foods will help your body be it's best no matter what your shape or weight. Working out will give you more muscle mass which will increase your metabolism and protect your bones.

I'm not a fan of artificial sweeteners. If you are addicted to eating sweets then using artificial sweeteners will keep you craving sweets even when you are dieting. If sweets and starches are the foods that make you gain weight, the common sense thing to do is avoid eating them. There was a time when a person became an adult they stopped eating the foods of their childhood and began to eat mor...e adult foods. Now we have adults who eat sweetened breakfast cereals and colorful candy every day. Pastries should be saved for a special occasion, not included in the daily diet. The more sweet foods and drinks you consume, the more you will want. We have taste buds that register sweet foods. Those taste buds were designed to allow us to enjoy fresh fruit. By replacing daily sweet foods with your favorite fresh fruit you could drop a couple of pounds without even trying. I don't drink diet soda, never have since they added Aspartame and never will as long as it contains it. Aspartame or "Equal" gives me Migraine headaches. Diet drinks cause some people to crave more food than their bodies can metabolize. Diet drinks containing caffeine dehydrate your skin leaving it looking dull and wrinkled. Drink water instead. Your skin will look great from true hydration.

As we age...

we lose pigment not only in our skin but our hair as well. Hair that is colored black or very dark brown will not look natural next to skin that has become pale with age. The eyebrows and hairline can give you a clue about a more natural color for covering gray hair. Also, change black eyeliner to a softer color like charcoal or navy blue. Eyelids droop with age so it's best not to l...ine the lower lids on the outside or inside. As the day goes by the eyeliner may "travel" and end up giving you "Raccoon Eyes." Use mascara sparingly on your lower lashes because it could flake off throughout the day and settle in fine lines and wrinkles under your eyes. Some older women wear too much make up and jewelry. "Less is more" the older you are. Keeping it simple puts the focus on you and not what you're wearing. No skirts over the knee if you're over 50 and no low cut tops.

March 1-13 Facebook Posts

Where do you put your handbag/wallet when you go to bed? Is it by the door? If someone broke into your house in the middle of the night would they be able to grab your purse or wallet and get out of the house before you knew what was going on? We put our wallet, handbag and keys in our master bathroom at night. A little "food for thought" today. :-)

Eye care: If you or someone you know suffers from frequent eye infections or irritations it could be from using contaminated eye make up. See your doctor for a diagnosis. Eye make up should be avoided when there is an eye infection. Once the infection is healed then all of the previous eye make up should be thrown away and new make up purchased. Never lick the tip of an eyelining pencil before lining yo...ur eyes. Doing that introduces bacteria from your mouth into your eyes. Don't continue to use eye make up that is causing irritation because it means you are probably allergic to it. Brown eyeliner and mascara contain red pigment that may cause an allergic reaction or irritation. Switch to black eyeliner and mascara to see if it's more comfortable to wear.

 

Lip care: A Kentucky Fashion Friend asked me yesterday for advice about her dry lips. I told her that I use "Clinique" lip balms and lip treatments. I like the solid balm under lipstick and the treatment in a tube at bedtime. If Clinique... products don't fit your budget I suggest you use the same type of products from "Burt's Bees." They are available in most drug, grocery and discount stores. Some are tinted and may contain sunscreen which is a plus. I use cheap, white wash cloths at night with my cleanser. I run the wash cloth over my lips several times to exfoliate the dead skin cells left from a day of wear and tear. Applying a lip treatment helps keep moisture on your lips overnight.

I've been looking for some lipsticks and lip glosses that are similar to Clinique's "Tenderheart" that I like so much. Revlon came close to matching it with their "Super Lustrous Lipstick" in #637 "Blushing Nude." Revlon lipgloss in "Colorburst #014 Rose Pearl" in close too but does have a touch of sparkle. They both look good with OPI nail polish "Grand Canyon Sunset.

 

 Two piece outfits should always be washed or dry cleaned together. Even if you never wear the other piece always clean it at the same time as the piece you do wear. You want both pieces to look the same if you pass the outfit on to someone else in the future. Protect the inside of jacket collars by tucking a scarf inbetween your neck and the collar. If hairspray gets on your neck as you style your hair be sure to wipe it off before wearing a garment with a collar.